I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
