Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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