Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
