Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he thought i was a dude.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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