hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have demons in me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
