I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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