I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
