I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
