butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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