i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
