Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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