It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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