Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
