All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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