I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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