Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
