Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
