Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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