I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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