yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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