the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
