Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
