dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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