its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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