Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize