i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He did a backflip because drugs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize