The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
