he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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