so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
why do cheetos always look like penises
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
