hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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