we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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