Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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