hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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