my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
