i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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