so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
