were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
