Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize