i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
