I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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