just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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