the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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