I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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