i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize