I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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