I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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