U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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