My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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