Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
