there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
