i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
