Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
