Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
