Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize