I like to think it a success when the cops are called
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
