so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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