Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
worst night to have a conscience
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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