this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
