drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
