Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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