is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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