he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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