You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
