Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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