Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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