Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
