So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize