did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
