Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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