ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
