I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
only you would photoshop your dick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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